Not Enough Time Or Just Excuses?
So, this morning I signed on Facebook and decided to go on a rant about how I was feeling. My dad passed away in August 2017 and I usually don’t post about it on social media but I could not help myself I needed to make a point. The week of my dads passing started out amazing! I was coming off of a high from making it to one year with my husband (they say the first two are the hardest — they weren’t lying by the way) to watching my dad via video chat yell from pain. Earlier in the week I couldn’t fight the tiredness I’ve been feeling for the past few months since I started a new job. I kept telling myself I’d spend more time with my dad at some point or another. Once things slowed down you know? He’d still be there, waiting on me right?
I went by my mother’s house on a Tuesday after working a 12-8 shift, picking up my three boys (including a 7 month old) and dropping them to my husband. I couldn’t even begin to describe what that morning looked like. I got to my mother’s house and sat for 2 hours as my baby sister installed my sew-in. I spoke to my dad briefly about the law of attraction and how everything will get better if he believed that it would. He kind of brushed me off and was just saying he had some time and he’d work on it. Looking back, he was just trying to get me off his back. Haha. Also looking back, I realized that I did not have all the time in the world to spend with this man that raised me my entire life. I realize now I used time as an excuse to do nothing.
Fast forward the weekend came and I was trying to gain some energy back to head down to the Bronx borough of New York to spend some time with my older sister. I wasn’t really in the mood I was tired and I kept telling myself to ignore my intuition (go see my dad) and to just get some rest so that I wasn’t dozing off later. Needless to say, I neglected my intuition and headed down to New York without seeing my dad. Around 12:30am Sunday morning I got a call on video chat from my mom. My dad was screaming, in complete agony.
At this point, I listened to my intuition and my family and I packed our stuff and headed back to Connecticut after only being in the Bronx for less than two hours. By the time we got there it was around 2am, I called my mother and spoke to my dad. I apologized to him and let him know I was tired and glad to hear he was comfortable. I promised to see him in the morning because I thought he’d be there. Waiting for me, but I was wrong. Life moved on and I was not ready.
A lot of people, including myself sometimes; use time as an excuse as to why we cannot, will not or have not done something. The biggest truth about life is that we are not here forever so why would we let the idea of “time” control everything we do? Haven’t seen a family member? Make it a point to do so. You have a dream you want to follow? Go for it! Don’t spend 8 hours of your day building someone else’s dream and tell yourself there is no time to work on your own.
After the funeral I sat back and thought about everything I did not have time for or did not feel there was a “right time” for. So, on August 29th a few days after the funeral I called my husband and simply said: “Look, i’m ready.” We packed our shit up and less than 3 months later we became residents of Charlotte, North Carolina. I challenge all of you reading this to take some a minute and think about what you want for yourself. Not what society wants for you or what your parents want for you. Truly think about what YOU want for YOU. Challenge yourself and figure out what you can accomplish in two days, two weeks or a month. Let’s stop discussing what we don’t have time for. Let’s not discuss time management or work/life balance. Let’s discuss having an abundance of time. Establish goals, set your deadline and complete it. It’s your life, create and control it. Live your BEST life while you’re still here.
“If we do not create and control our environment, our environment creates and controls us.” -Marshall Goldsmith