How To: Date A Married Man

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So you decided to date a married man, now what? I am not one to judge since I’ve been there before. After all, that’s a decision and choice you have to make and live with. If you are going to do it then make sure you are being smart and not taken advantage of. I want to discuss ways that you can protect your heart. These are just guidelines , not die hard rules that you have to follow. Tweak them as needed and take from it what you want. Let’s go!

Don’t fall on love- Why are you trying to get your heart broken? You can’t fall in love because he loves someone else- his wife. Men do NOT associate sex with love. I repeat, a man having sex with you does not mean he loves you. Sex and love are separate for men. When you are dealing with a married man, you need to be smart and logical not emotional. This leads me to number 2.

With this type of relationship you are going to need a plan B- a side dude. Yes, I said it. He has his wife he spends time with and goes home to. Most likely, he is still having sex with her, buying her gifts and taking her out on date nights while you sit and wait for him. No ma'am, be smart. Get you a side dude, boyfriend or another companion that will do the same for you. (I encourage everyone to use protection) You will be busy when he is busy. This ties in with number 3- proves why a side dude might help.

Lonely on special occasions- here is the painful truth of being his mistress. He will most likely spend his holidays with his family, which means you’ll be alone for the holidays. If you want to go out for a date night, you’ll have to find someone else other than him because he can’t just get up and leave whenever he wants. You’ll just wait for him. Who wants to wait around? Who wants to spend Christmas alone or New Years Eve?

Have something to show for it- We want the receipts honey, lol. Just kidding but pay attention to this. My mom always told me that if I am going to sleep with a man, make sure I have something to show for it. He needs to compensate you somehow for your time and for putting up with his limited time. He gets you and his wife… what do you get? Have him to help you with some of your bills and give you some cash. Maybe he brings you gifts that are worth something. Eating out is fine but he knows that sleeping with you is not something he should take lightly. Don’t be afraid to ask for something even if you got to start out small, like asking for help with your phone bill or new tires on the car. If he is a successful man he will gladly do it. If he is not, why are you messing with him again? Of it’s just sex for you and you’re a fine with that then by all means, have fun.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself- Respect his wife and kids because it’s classy and he will appreciate you more. Try and keep your dignity no matter what. Don’t ever cross those lines and cause his family distress. I’m pretty sure he is doing enough and if it ever gets out in the open, he will have to deal with his own mess.

He says he loves- Ok so here we are… he has confessed his love to you and how he really feels about you. Honey, it’s a good chance that it’s all talk. Again, he is saying that to keep you right where he wants you. My dad said if a man really wants you, you will know and it is ONLY by his actions that he will prove it. “Love can only be known by the actions it prompts.” IIs he actually proving this to you by making steps to leave his wife, like separation and divorce?

Be his fantasy only- Men have huge but fragile egos. Right now, you are his fantasy and source of escape. You are his muse and sensual goddess. Don’t nag him or hen peck him, unless he’s into that. Be that soft feminine goddess he can relax with. Make him feel like the superhero and you’re the girl that he saves and finally gets. Let him vent his frustrations and rub his shoulders. Take cate of yourself, be sexy, dress feminine and let him feel like He is the king. Just remember to be smart ladies. This is what he is looking for.

Again, some may not like what I have to say and that’s perfectly fine with me. We each have our own opinions about what’s moral and not moral. At the end of the day, people are going to do what they want. If you make this decisions ladies, I can’t stress to you that there are great risks involved such as a broken heart, loneliness at times, stds, and unplanned pregnancies. You are also taking a chance that the wife will find out and a family is going to be ripped apart. Again, I’m not throwing shade or being judgmental, I am only speaking from experience and what I’ve seen others go through. If you go through with this, just remember loves- be smart.

Liz Houston