Young Couples and Expectations

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Relationships are not easy. Especially being 25 and married to your middle school crush. I was 11 years old when I met my husband. We dated for a month or so, you know kid stuff. We rekindled on an emotional level when I was 19 years old and he was almost 21. Both of us fresh out of a relationship, his longer than mine. We instantly clicked, we were always friends anyway growing up. My family loved him and already knew him. My son was quiet normally but took to him immediately. He had his career going already, the sex was great and I could be myself with him no matter what. What more could I need?

Things started to go sour once I found out that the ex girlfriend had turned into the side chick. It was a crazy year because I was not willing to let it go. I can’t say I was innocent, I had some friends I hadn’t immediately cut off either. But, that was expected of me. Before I had my son, I wasn’t into monogamy or long term. I was young and having fun (no not sleeping with everyone) but simply not trying to marry every guy I dated. As for my husband, I looked at him as this perfect being. I was heart broken. I was holding on to the version of him that I met in 2003.

Sometimes we set high expectations for others and when things don’t work out the way it did in our minds we are ready to run and never look back. Everyone and everything are so easily accessible, we are sometimes quick to move on to the next without trying. Relationships take work, compromise and communication. Releasing your expectations and growing with your spouse, especially at a young age; will help bring the two of you closer. Allowing your spouse to be who he or she is without judgment can also create an open and honest relationship. Love freely, communicate, release those expectations and leave room for improvement as there is no perfect person.

Nakida Coore