She's Just Not That Into You

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She’s Just Not That Into You!

It appears to me that every time I log onto social media, there are tons of pages and blogs dedicated to educate women on how to tell when a man is just not into them. I have had the pleasure of listening to several podcast and a few talk shows detailing how to identify the traits of an uninterested man. Unfortunately, I have not discovered as many platforms discussing the opposite. So with that being said, I have come up with a list of my own to assist men in their journey to find love and weed out the non-potential posers.  The list below is only meant to serve as a possibility and not an absolute.

#1 She never asks for your time—A woman who is into you wants to be around you. If the lady you are interested in is never asking for your time or more of it, she probably isn’t into you as much as you think. Cuffing season started a few months ago. Most of us want that special someone to cuddle up with during the fall and winter months. If your love interest isn’t trying to occupy some or most of your free time during this season…. She’s not checking for you!

#2 She’s only available and engaging when there are benefits attached such as a dinner, gifts, favors, or financial gains—We all love the gifts, the attention and the just because teasers.  Material things are nice but if your love interest seems to be excited or available only when you are taking her out to dinner, buying her things or being the handy man; chances are she’s using you. A woman that sees potential in the two of you having a future or committed relationship will be willing to see you and spend time with you no matter what. If you find yourself in a situation-ship such as this, test the water. Moving forward, go Dutch!  See where her head is at. If she isn’t willing to pay for her own meal or even treat you out to a meal, cut your losses now. You are probably an “in the meantime dude”!

#3 Her time is always maximized—With the exception of taking her out to dinner, shows, shopping and etc., if you find yourself asking her a simple question about her plans for the day, weekend, holidays or what-not and she has a laundry list of things she has to do, places to go and errands to run; she is not checking for you. The old saying is that we make time for what we want and excuses for what we don’t. No one is busier than a woman who doesn’t want to spend time with you!  Since women are nurturers by nature, you have to ask yourself; why isn’t this woman making time to nurture this relationship? When we want you, it doesn’t matter what we have going on; we will extend an invitation to our bae to ride along, come along so that we can get that time in.

#4 She never wants to be affectionate—If your lady cringes when you touch her, doesn’t want to hold your hand, shy’s away from physical contact, slaps your hand away if you try to caress her and you are finding yourself asking for hugs and kisses; she is not feeling you AT ALL! Move on. There is no hope. Women love affection, sex and caresses as much as men.  A man’s touch has a way of validating your love for a woman and igniting a desire in the woman to love more. If your lady interest doesn’t want your affectionate or touch; she doesn’t want you!

#5 She has an attitude for no reason—This is an indicator you are the last person on earth she wants talk to and you annoy her. A woman that is into you will open up to you in an effort to explain whatever is ailing her. So, if her attitude is stank and you don’t know why, it’s probably because she isn’t into you and is tired or pretending at this point.

#6 She waits days or hours to return a call or text—This means you are not a priority for me. She is not interested in talking to you and probably knows you are wanting to spend time with her and she doesn’t feel like explaining why she doesn’t have the time. Usually, a woman may wait a few hours or days to respond, in hopes to avoid that conversation or respond whenever we feel it necessary.

#7 She reminds you that the two of you are just friends consistently—This should be a definite red flag! This says she sees no opportunity for advancement and you have been placed in the friend zone.

#8 She is dating other people while expressing her desire to be in a committed relationship—Refer to number 7!

#9 She rarely engages with you on social media—Women can be can be just as territorial as men, even more at times. If your lady interest posts and engages on social media regularly but does not like, comment, tag or engage with you on this platform; signs point to she is possibly not interested and doesn’t want to give the impression to you or the audience that you two are connected in any way.

#10 She never compliments you—This is simple. We love o shower our men with compliments to let him know how fine and handsome he is to us. A woman will be your biggest fan, cheerleader, and motivator. If  your love interest isn’t doing this for you; she’s not attracted to you or you are just not her type. If you are unsure; just ask her. Inquire about her previous lovers. What do you and the others have in common? Are there any similarities?

Moral of the story, in a perfect world; we would all be up front and honest with everyone we meet all the time in every situation.  We would prefer to deal with people who are mature enough to express their true feelings and intentions so that disasters, heartache and disappointments can be avoided. However, we don’t live in a perfect world and society is infected with people who are dishonest and present their representative in the relationship beforehand. It would be wise to move cautiously, love slower, give without expectation, ask a lot of questions, observe more and protect your heart when seeking a companion.

Asha Black